Derby 2009

Ok, I survived. This years Derby was something I hadnt expected due to the weather forecast. I had decided, at the last minute might I add, to cook some food on the grill for the family, invite a few friends over and watch the people that would gamble on both the rain and the horses. Little did I know I was in for a treat. My friends and I walked up to a local grocery to get some things that were still needed for our cookout when I noticed a younger gentlemen standing on the corner, waiting to cross. He was dressed, well, a bit conservative, yet was a blast to talk to. We never got to ask him his name, just where he was from, Lexington, but he walked along side of us until we reached our house, we went our way, Lex went his.....then....he showed back up, with two friends, which I call Harry and Barry. These three guys are probably the most charismatic gentlemen Ive ever met at Derby. Ive been in the middle of that mess for nine years and they were the most personable guys you could ever meet. Now, they were drunk, BUT, that doesnt take away from the fact that they were hilarious.......yes it does, Im lying.

Anywho, above is the picture I took of the three with my bud Ken. The guy on the right, "Harry" had his collar popped on his JACKET, his tie was almost strangling him, and he had not handkerchief in his pocket. I had to save him, I had to help him get some ass that night, I couldnt allow such a nice guy to proceed down 3rd Street with looking that way. I unpopped his collar, loosened his tie and folded paper towel into a triangle, tucked it in his pocket and told him he was guaranteed some ass that night.

We never got their real names, who knows if they will accept the invite I offered for them to come back each year, but if you guys are out there, you made our Derby.

Here's to you guys, Lex, Harry and Barry, hope to see you guys next year!

Bits and Pieces......and feces

So, I got through Seven Pounds and I seen the ending coming right from the first attempt at watching it. I wont spoil it for you, but its an OK movie. I give it ONE GOOGER UP, and thats only because Rosario Dawson is teh hottay. Will Smith is played, he's in everything these days and his acting hasnt changed. Stale, boring, yet meshes right in there with the script. I guess Ill have to keep on hatin......


I normally havent followed Idol after the tryouts, which by the way is the best part of the show, but this year, Ive followed through with it each week and I have some things to say. First and foremost, Im convinced Paula is screwing some of the contestants and is high on cocaine. Her rings are so big, she could hold an eight ball in each one, snort in between commercials, and get right back at her rambling. Her weekly admiration is borderline stalking, harrassment, and down right unacceptable as a professional. FOX should get her out ASAP, which is what Im predicting is happening with this new judge, Kara something, I dont even care. Shes just as bad, if not worse. Adding a fourth judge was a disastrous move by FOX. In order, it goes like this: Randy Jackson, "YO, YO, YO, that was banging, you could record a whole album right now", Kara, "You got SWAGGA that no one else is bringing to the competition, but your performance wasnt up there tonight, sorry".........BOOOOOOOO roars the crown, Paula, " Your soundful voice brings my heart to rain and clouds bring darkness, yet your voice is sexy, mesmorizing, and tasteful. I applaud your parents for learning how to sing, brilliant".....sigh...and finally Simon "I actually thought it was hooooorendous, the pitch was off, the song selection wasnt in your favor and I believe you are in trouble this week"...BOOOOOOOOOO. This alone is why I just fast forwarded the whole show, TIVOED, just through the performances and made my own mind up. Adam, whom I call VAMP, ya, that guy that butchered the Johnny Cash song, made Randy Travis almost turn to Satanism, and made a mockery of the whole country genre, is riding his Freddy Mercury style voice all the way to the top. How in the HELL are you gonna scream some music from the Rat Pack? I never seen Sinatra pull a Freddy Mercury in any of his routines, yet the judges kissed his ass, making him think hes a new "breed" of talent. Tell that to Steven Tyler, Axel Rose, Vince Neil and the other "rockers" that are able to do what that kid does, sitting in a hottub full of woman, booze and a buffet of narcotics. Danny Gokey is gonna get screwed and he's the only one that has the talent and charisma to be a cross genre star, bar none.

BTW, the Sloppy Joes were great....not a stain on me


I hopped online yesterday evening and played some COD with my brothers and had a blast. We played four player Free For All, hunting each other down like dogs, changed over to some Zombie action, and then back for a finale Free For All. I had forgotten how much fun I had playing online with people that I know. Trash talking, plotting, camping, great times. Then, we decided to go into a Team Deathmatch room and Ill be DAMNED if the first room we went too, they were glitching. I was so pissed I just shut the PS3 off, period. Thats why I only play with friends, because the glitching, cheating, and hacking makes most of these games unplayable with random people. Then, you have to hear "WITE PAUR" or "CRACKA, CRACKA, CRACKA". Yea, thats fun.......

I think Ill stick to playing with friends for the time being.

Three more days until Derby.....see previous blog lol


My wife bought some toys for the beach yesterday and it was the first time since we planned for our trip to Myrtle Beach that I realized that this will be the first family vacation we have had outside a 100 mile range since our existence. I find myself trying not to count down the days when Ill be flicking toes in the beach's sand, watching the sunset over the Atlantic with my wife, and documenting my childrens first interactions with the ocean. Ill never forget my first time, Im hoping they dont forget theirs.

Damn Im tired!!! It doesnt feel good having an 8 year old cramming her knee in your back all night while medicated. Waking up makes you feel like you were hit by an Amtrack.


I keep smelling the Sloppy Joes.....yea, that smell........I just got a call from Joe, he needs an escort to the Porcelain Credit Union to make a deposit.

Three nights, three attempts. Ive tried watching 7 POUNDS, it better be outstanding!!!

Sloppy?

If I eat my sloppy joes really careful, and not spill anything, is it really considered Sloppy Joes?


And who is this Joe character?

Just checkin the mobile blog, move along, nothing to see here....

Derby Time in Da Ville

Great!! That time of year again. Living close to Churchill Downs makes this time of the year a daily circus in Louisville. When I first moved close to Churchill, I enjoyed it. I would cook for the out of towners, selling food and making some decent money as well. But as time has gone by, I find myself just wanting to "watch". Call it old age, call it laziness, but the fact of the matter is that I get more amusement out of watching two total strangers beat the living Hell out of one another for a number of reasons, including heat exhaustion, gazing at ones husbands, wives, boyfriend or girlfriend or life partner (yup, it happens), alcohol consumption, buying fake tickets or just being a complete dick.



Ive seen it all.

The City of Louisville makes a ton of money each year locking up these Bozo's. The Circuit Court is full on the Monday after Derby, with both local and out of town badboys/girls, waiting to fine the shit out of them for acting like Simple Jack in public. Back in the day, as long as you didnt start any trouble, you could walk around, case of beer in hand, drinking in public, smoking the funky junky, and the police wouldnt stop nor pay any attention to you. Now, the lethal combination of local rednecks and out of town billfolds have collided and its war, literally.

Have you ever had someone just jump on your hood to show you where to park your car? Yup, that happens. Ive seen crackheads jump on hoods of limos, luxury cars, and even hop on the side of Charter buses to show them where to park. Im sorry, but if anybody jumps on my God Damn hood, Im getting out and taking care of business. You can walk along side the car, the traffic is bumper to bumper, just as easy as you can flopping your doped out ass on the hood of my ride for a quick ten bucks.

Then, something else that really bites my ass, is that the crackmonsters will park cars in yards and driveways, including mine, that DOESNT EVEN BELONG TO THEM? WTF!!! Three years ago, a house three doors down from me was vacant and up for rent. The Louisville Lot Lizards uprooted the sign, proceeded to block everyone in as they parked cars, row by row, then once it was full, replanted the FOR RENT sign, blocking everyone in, and kicked rocks!

Five years ago, there was a house across the street that had a beautiful arrangement of spring flowers, PURPOSELY blocking their front lawn in fear of the lizards parking cars there while they were away from this black hole in sports. What did they do? Yup, plowed right over them. I walked outside that next morning to grab the Sunday paper and that yard looked like it had held its own personal John Deere show, it was unreal.

My point, dont come to Louisville unless you plan on a chaotic time during Derby. Dont believe the hype, its just a bunch of steroid pumped dinosaurs running around in a circle with rich folks betting on them.

Did Dino ever get into the winners circle at Churchill? Wiki away fellow bloggers!!